Goddamn that was tasty

One of the biggest things I've had to adjust to with lupus is that I have to be slower. I have to eat slower, I have to walk slower, I have to bend down and reach up slower. Every movement is done with just a little more deliberation than I ever would have before. Hell, there are lots of days when Jesse is moving faster than I am - and he's got fibromyalgia and arthritis.

It is a strange thing to be so aware of your body. It has at least one benefit, though. Due to eating slower, I tend to savor my food far more than I used to. And as my kidney baselines are improving, I'm able to eat more of the "naughty" foods as treats. A McChicken sandwich with extra onions from McDonalds. A few slices of garlic and alfredo veggie pizza. Two peanut butter Reese's Cups instead of one.

Small things like that are such bright stars in an otherwise blackened and cloudy sky. I think, finally, Jesse and I are are starting to get a handle on this whole renal diet thing. I don't feel as left out anymore - if at all. Jesse's become a wizard at recreating my favorite dishes to be lower in sodium and all the bad things I need to avoid.

And after all these months, I've grown tired of my bitching about food. The bitterness that came from having to cut out vast and wide swaths of what I used to eat. I never realized before just how complicated and emotional someone's relationship with food can be, but mine definitely was.

Like you once said, Peskipiski, having limited food options should make a person MORE creative with their food. David, picky eater that he was, completely missed that point. Jesse and I? We're pretty much down for anything that satisfies the diet requirements and that can produce some pretty unusual dishes. Unusual but damn good.

So it's been my perquisite hour of being awake at the ungodly hour of 4 AM. Time to smoke a final cigarette and pass out for the next six hours. I also had a few slices of pizza.

Goddamn, that was tasty.

This entry was originally posted at http://quirkytizzy.dreamwidth.org/1048738.html
Food and money are the two things that are never just about those two things.

On a primal level, food is about being alive, the first thing we do after being born is to look for a meal.On an emotional level, food is about culture, about feeling like an adult, having agency. What we eat and don't eat is one of the first things most children are allowed to have control over.

Big diet changes are often the biggest problems people who are newly diagnosed with conditions like diabetes, lupus, etc have because of what food represents in our culture.