Americans hate silent letters. Superstition. Boob bitchery.

OMG, THANK YOU FAIRY! THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU! Jesse and I will now go see them, and I'll get a chance to thank the band for being such a huge part of my recovery. I've been dying for ages to let them know that (and they are often busy and aren't able to respond to fan mail.) It'll also be FUN!

And yep, Radium, I literally JUST NOW got it. Like, 20 years after the very first game release. I can be a really slow learner. It actually took me that long to put two and two together.

And she really DOES come off as sociopathic, what with the wanton slaughter and all, right Gonzo? I never realized just how violent the game was, and just how murder-hungry Laura Croft is until Jesse started playing through the last released game.

I mean, Jesus. What a thing to recognize!

Again, thank you so much, Fairy. Seeing as my income consists solely of borrowed money, I do not ask for fun money to spend. It all always goes to basics. If I do something just for fun (which is usually going out to eat), I wait until Pat or another friend takes me out and can pay for it on-the-spot. This ensures that, as they are spending the money RIGHT THERE, that they can afford it and I am not draining them.

It'll be wonderful to be able to do something extracurricular. This is a chance to do something other than simply survive. Thank you SO MUCH FOR THAT!

Wait, I can spell the word "extracurricular", but I can't spell nausea without spellcheck? Geeeeez. I blame the English, what with all their silent letters and whatnot. (America is not as removed from the Motherland as one might think.) Though maybe I really ought to blame the ROMANS, as they turned what would eventually be the English language into a mess of silent letters.

Damn silent letters.

I hear that's part of why the English language is one of the most difficult to learn. Outside of various Asian-based languages, whose subtlety is profound - and profoundly frustrating. It amazes me that we in America are taught only the English language in school, while most of the world seems to be able to speak two or three languages with ease. It really says something about the American public education system and perhaps America's ego, too.

I did not get either Bucket List goal done yesterday. As it's raining (again) and my joints hurt (again) and I want those damn tickets more than I want to wash the sheets, my Bucket List goal today is to dust. Regular goal is to make it to the walk-in mental health clinic to find a talk-therapist. This must be done. It is imperative on a grand and life-saving level.

As of late - as was early in diagnosis and will forever continue to be periods of - getting ready to go anywhere is a loooong process. My energy will flag from a simple trip to the bathroom. My joints can only maneuver one or two articles of clothing at once. If there's makeup to be done? There's another 20 added moments worth of getting-ready time.

So I try to talk to myself in a positive way, going "It's 7 AM, Teressa. You've got to be out of the house by 9 AM. Let's put on a bra and your socks. BOOM, baby, you're almost halfway there! Be proud of yourself!" It can be very frustrating, as I remember a time when (1) I was able to get all the way dressed at once, (2) was able to do my makeup in ten minutes, and (3) didn't have to separate things like washing my face and putting on shoes without small chunks of rest in between.

But piece by slow-ass piece, even it it takes me over an hour, I've yet to leave the house naked, so at least I know I'm not a complete invalid.

Also frustrating: My boobs. Thanks to edema, they rise and fall in unpredictable manners. I used to sit at a solid D. Now, often inside mere days, they will bloat up to anywhere from a DD to an E. And it's anyone's guess as to how fast or slow the extra water weight will bleed off, so I rarely have a clear idea of just how sizable my tits are or aren't.

Jesse finds this fascinating and loves the bigger boobs.

I find it frustrating, as my ten dollar bras from Walmart were just not built for this kind expanding and retracting body part. So I just hike up the straps as far as they will, hoping that it will at least make the bust-line LOOK even.

But after decades of fighting with my tits, I'm now glad I have such ginormous jugs. It's the first thing people see on me. Underneath the clothing, I am physically stretchered. Literally, physically stretched. I've got stretch marks from twat to tits.

But no one knows that unless they see me naked - and I'm A LOT more choosy these days about who gets to see me naked. The scars on my arm are also now mostly faded, which is good, because Kansas summers are hot and humid as fuck. Long sleeves, no matter how light the fabric is, is a scathing hell during summer.

I also often find myself...flummoxed about HOW to put on clothes. As if I've forgotten how a shirt works. It can take SEVERAL ENTIRE MINUTES just to get a shirt on properly. Cognitive dysfunction rules my head, I guess, but it's annoying and worrisome.

I've also put my necklace back on, as the clip on the necklace had broken. The one that has a key, representative of my sister, and my Santa Muerte locket. It is comforting, both the weight and symbolism of it.

While I am not spiritual, I can be damned superstitious. That locket has been with me for all but the very first hospitalization. The ones that could have gone really, REALLY wrong. The ones where I almost died. But She was there, either around my neck or nearby in my purse. (Often they need to remove the necklace for chest x-rays or whatever.) But the point is that every time something went catastrophically wrong, She was near and somehow, every time, I escaped Death.

Not saying that I believe in her as an honest to god deity. But I DO believe in the power of symbolism - and what she represents is a very, very strong symbol.

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This thread is useless without pics :p

But seriously, there's probably a reason that most Americans do not know another language. Unlike Europe, where you can be in another country in a few hours--and probably need to know how to speak another language--you really don't need to here. Unless you go to Mexico, most Americans get by with English. Even in Canada...except for Quebec.
Also in Europe you still find enough people incapable of speaking a second language... And it's not only those people who have grown up in the ages where it still was new to teach a foreign language in your normal public school process.
You can also find enough lazy people which think like "What the hell I need this for?!" that don't put much efforts into it - even English...

Although I admit it's also very much like the arrogance of American culture to not teach other world languages amply (maybe except Spanish for the reasons of so many people from South America that live in the US meanwhile).
You know, why American film industry has an obsession of remaking every foreign film that became successful? Because those who determine the course of American culture - state, private economy, secret golf clubs at elite universities - do not want Americans to see something that is different from their own culture. They don't want them to catch or develop ideas inspired by things from abroad.
Needless to say, if the average American is going to see solely American films in his local cinema and gets them advertised by his America-based streaming service, he doesn't need to learn another language. He just gets along with his mother tongue and that's it.
And through this common culture that everyone becomes subject to as an object to influence, you barely have anyone becoming interested in foreign films, foreign languages and foreign cultures, it's such a low quota you can live with it, it won't harm or even threaten the system in a serious way.

Let's say: Those in American society, the elites, which really determine the course of the country and the course of America's culture, they're still nothing more than the arrogant, vulgar criminals that once fled from Europe that try to act bigger than they are and that have no sense for culture, for how the world functions and how politics get done without causing absolute chaos. They're still like some dirty kids that have an idea about nothing, but despise everything that's not been done by them...