Graverobber, sometimes I wonder why I need you at all

I do not like Wellbutrin. I don't like....not feeling. Anything. Anything at all. I'm numb.

All of my life I have envied people who have felt numb. I've never been numb. I didn't think it was possible. Not for me. Not for someone whose emotions lived so close to the surface that they spilled over at the slightest tip.

Now I realize that all I had been missing was the right drug - and now I don't care about anything. I don't care about getting help. I don't care about getting sick. I don't care about connecting to the people or pets in my life.

Why should I? What's the point? It's all made of soundproof plastic anyways. I sleep because...why not? What's the point otherwise? This is not depression. This is simply not caring, or feeling a need to care.

I think I'd rather feel suicidal than this. I know I would rather feel suicidal than this.

Reassuringly enough, I am at least still creepy and morbid. I've been craving to watch REPO: THE GENETIC OPERA. Of course, Netflix and Amazon don't have it, but youtube has the music. Call it creepy, but I'm shipping Shilo and Graverobber SO HARD right now.

Going to readjust the Wellbutrin. Gotta get back to me. I mean, hell, do I find this man sexy?




Fuck yes. If I've still got that, then surely I can get back to the rest of it, right?

This entry was originally posted at http://quirkytizzy.dreamwidth.org/1087858.html
This numbness has kicked in amazingly fast. What dose did they start you on?

Sleep is better than no sleep.
You're alive.

I can be happy about that for both of us, if you're having trouble.