A 911 call later covered in vomit. -Jesse here

Xanax, alcohol, other pills caused her to become unable to walk. After she began to throw up and choking on it, falling to the floor. I called 911 when she could not talk.

She broke her sobriety by drinking Rum I had, no more alcohol in the house.

All because she did not want to cut.

I am not okay, I am at a loss.

This entry was originally posted at https://quirkytizzy.dreamwidth.org/1096906.html
Damn old chap. You're walking through hell with this, and I'm sorry as hell.

Remember if somebody decides they're going to drink, they'll find a way to drink. So while it's a good idea to have no more alcohol in the house, she'd have gotten it if she wanted it from somewhere.

Its hard to know what to suggest. I hope the hospital is able to hang on to her for a good long while, but they probably won't because, no money.

Is she still taking the meds from Doctor Cannon that control the bipolar?
Agreed; I'm so sorry to hear this. I don't know what to say right now, so I'll check in this evening.

Thank you for being there for her, Jesse.

At the news I don't really have any other words that I can articulate.

...Except to say that I'm not mad. There are no easy answers here.
Tizzy, what do you do...
This is not a game of "I'll be a good child and don't cut"-game...
If it happens, it happens... Just don't cut too deep.
So that you never can't return...
I don't know what to say. Out of all the emotions I'm feeling, neither anger nor pity are among them. Primary is fear that being thrown off her polar equilibrium and a fatalistic outlook might do her in before the lupus does....and I really don't want to see that happen. I'd rather live one more day with lupus than not at all without it.

Not a day goes by that I don't think that I am glad you are there to look after her. She needs someone strong and brave and present in her life to help guide her through this. Don't blame yourself, and don't give up. She is one of the strongest people I know; she just needs to believe that about herself again.
Jesse, you are a saint for being there for her. I cannot imagine how hard this is for you. I hope you can find support for yourself too. I know you must be hanging on by a thread as well. I keep hoping to come here and find things have finally hit bottom and an even keel has been found.. but not yet it seems. :(
Tell Quirky I am thinking of her. Hoping for her. And you too.